Related by Blood

Family. What does this word mean to you? Siblings are said to be the longest lasting relationships of our lives. Yet for many people it can bring up a lot of heartache. When the inherent intimacy of this relationship is abused as an excuse to behave like a child - since the relationship was originally built in the context of childhood - it hurts. It hurt when you were a kid and had no choice but to continue living in the same household, and it hurts no less now when you make a conscious choice to include and be around a family member yet they continue the hurtful or selfish behavior, or when they make a conscious choice to outright exclude you.

As an adult, this can be disappointing at best and dehumanizing at worst. Is there room for forgiveness? Well, Jesus forgave his tormentors, so yes. Forgiveness does not require the other party to even apologize or feel retribution for their behavior. Even forgiveness does not wipe away the memories and the pain proceeding from the broken relationship with the loved one.

Yet Jesus offers an alternate to this despondent feeling of being trapped by a blood relationship where one party is not acting in the best interest of others.

While he [Jesus] was still speaking to the people, behold, his mother and his brothers stood outside, asking to speak to him. But he replied to the man who told him, "who is my mother, and who are my brothers?' And stretching out his hand toward his disciples, he said, 'Here are my mother and my brothers! For whoever does the will of my Father in heaven is my brother and sister and mother.' 

When the Son of God or one of those ministering in his name were in an area where they were not offered hospitality, where they were not provided for, his advice was to wipe the dust of those places off your feet and move along. Another time he said it is the sick that need a doctor, not those who are well (in their own eyes).

As much as it grieves me to let go of earthly relationships, Jesus made it clear that what is best for everyone is to open your eyes to your true family around you. Those are the people who are willing to be fellow laborers and servants in the kingdom. The people looking not after their own interests, but after the interests of others. He said in order to be great, you must be least of all.

This begs the question, then who is my family? People who have dealt with pain, destitution, loss, hunger, who see their great need and their inability to manage on their own, people who are willing to sacrifice themselves for others, people who accept others for who they are, people who can find joy in the midst of difficulty, people who are struggling in life, people who give without expecting anything in return, people who are open to give and receive compassion and unconditional love. These are the people I choose as my family.

For anyone who (whether intentionally or unintentionally) has erected boundaries to protect yourself, know that there is true freedom and healing in breaking down those walls. If you feel like ____ has wronged you, or you have been hurt by ____, or are simply uncomfortable around ____ (fill in the blanks with me, or anyone else in your life that fits here), I leave this open invitation. I get it - maybe you feel you are better off with me out of your life - I will try to respect the boundaries you put up - but I will not stop loving you, and I will not stop caring. The moment you decide to give me another chance (knowing that being human I may disappoint you again and need grace upon grace), you know where I am. Know that I want to be in right relationship with you. I want there to be peace and goodwill between us. I want you back in my family.

Jesus also says "come, all you who are weary and heavy laden, and I will give you rest." Do you have broken relationships weighing you down? He knows. Lay it on his shoulders. And he who is able will bless you more than you can imagine with a true family, related by the blood of the lamb.

Long Lost Friend

You are a long lost friend.
When we spoke after all these years
I remembered...
Not the words you said, or the things you did
But the way you made me feel.

I am glad to have met you:
a bright spot of cheer
in a gloomy world.

Maybe you feel lonely
or are searching
But today you made me smile.

I was giddy
to be able to talk like old friends
and experience the same feeling
of delight again
that I remembered from long ago.

I thank you,
my long lost friend.

Hand in Hand

Hand in hand we walk
together through the town
Hand in hand our steps
sync with the up and down

Hand in hand we smile
to greet the fresh new day
Hand in hand we're strong,
as we walk our way

Hand in hand time passes,
the sun drops in the West
Hand in hand we lay there,
our eyes succumb to rest

Each day is like a breeze, lingering and warm
The moment is sweet when together we meet
Hand in hand, heart in heart, arm in arm.

Living Life to the Fullest

I think the temptation today is to expect that life will come to you. That you can just live life centered on your self and your goals, all you have to do is get to know yourself and in doing so you will find happiness and contentment. Every one of my children thinks the world revolves around them. One of my chief goals as a mom is to break them of this illusion. It is my hope that someday they will start to find joy in making their focus outward rather than inward.

My friends, I hope the same for you. Now, I get that sometimes, life is really hard. Some days, survival mode takes over and you have no choice but to rebuild your own health and strength. Life doesn't end there. You WILL have times of recovery. You WILL have times of plenty. Don't let the ball stop rolling once you finally start recovering balance.

The quest for living life to the fullest doesn't have to center around "me". Fulfillment and blessings abound when your life focus is to give of yourself and your resources to impact other people in your life. So I ask you - where are the needs around you? Have you focused your efforts so much on making the places you are comfortable for yourself that you are leaving out the needy, the brokenhearted, the hungry around you? If you aren't willing to pick up your feet and walk to where the needs are, find those needs and start meeting those physical and spiritual needs, how small your world is!

"Religion that is pure and undefiled before God, the Father, is this: to visit orphans and widows in their affliction" James 1:27a

#AlwaysBrilli

Gendered Bathrooms

On the matter of gendered bathrooms, why not just make individual toilets more private and have several unisex bathroom units? Isn't that more efficient in the long run? This would reduce congestion (for instance, lines at travel concourses), reduce the total area to be cleaned, avoid shutting down half or entire toilet areas for cleaning, allow differently abled persons to get the assistance and privacy they need, help families stay together, and help parents help their children.

I think the question we should be asking is why are schools having kids undress in front of each other (in locker rooms) even if they are same gender? Would individual changing areas be too much to ask? As we teach our kids to clothe themselves (modesty), to keep their nakedness covered in respect of both themselves and others (discretion), let's give them private, clean environments to care for their personal needs. Our kids deserve the safety, body confidence and dignity that would result.