Social Distraction

My fingers automatically start typing in the letters before my brain registers what I am doing. Soon, all other thoughts have left my mind... I leave behind whatever anxiety was driving me and enter into the noise. There is some freedom in the noise - the static of endless information streams competing for face time. My face time. 

Outside that realm there is alone-ness. Inside there is that confirmation that there is always someone available to listen to you - a real person who really cares. 

Affirmation: security and confidence dependent on another's relationship to you. We were never meant to be alone. So we seek the closest thing we can to community. 

Do we miss something though? We are happy learning and exploring better ways to live our lives, ideas and the pursuit of greater understanding, pursuit of quality entertainment. We seek community from those far away who can deliver verbal support but cannot physically be there to meet our needs. 

Many times I feel this is all such a distraction. In giving our time and energy to this we take away from what is more important. I don't know. Will my online neighbors miss me? Yes there would be an initial sting of offense. Eventually others would fill the gap. With no reminder that I exist... perhaps I would cease to be part of their virtual lives. 

Meanwhile I know very few of my neighbors in close quarters. And I could be giving more attention to my kids, my spouse. I could be experiencing nature, walking, meditating, truly resting and rejuvenating.

We are all too busy with our lives, Facebook seems a great excuse to not think about the busy-ness... are we really slowing down though, or is it just turning up the adrenaline to high to get every last bit of energy out of us and leave no rest, no peace, and the same loneliness we started with.

These are some very hard things to try to wrap my mind around. I struggle with this, I struggle with not wanting to release any connections to those I have grown to love through this tool. Most of all I want to reclaim my time and flourish - without depending on Facebook to run my social life.

Until next time, may you be blessed and find peace amidst the tornado of life.

LibertyIsLife

Liberty is…

    Self-ownership.

    Personal accountability.

    Respect of others.

    Stewardship.

    Shouldering responsibility.

My life began the same as any other. Following a fleeting moment of vulnerability, heightened sensation, and connection between two persons, my body began its formation. While I was a stranger to these two, my life came into being. Cell division gave way to the beginnings of a skeleton, blood vessels, nerves, muscles, stumps of limbs, and a tiny heart began to beat. Before my eyes could see, my mouth could open, my tongue could suckle, my lungs could breathe, life flowed through my small, fragile form. Inches away from an inhospitable environment, yet I was warm, safe, and free.

The more I gained mastery over my developing senses, the more I became aware of this freedom. Free to dream, to wiggle, to wake or sleep, to soak in the sensation of the reassuring beat of my mother’s heart. Free to explore my known surroundings, to safely experience music, touch, emotions, and voices both strange and familiar. Everything was new to me as I experienced it for the first time.

Yet I was a stranger and a passenger. While I never chose to be, since the moment I came to be, my body strove for self-preservation, and every moment I soldiered on I held on to my existence “for dear life”. That old word “dear” does not even begin to describe this; no one had to teach me that my life is precious, it is of immeasurable value, that it matters, and that it is mine; I knew. With that knowledge of self-ownership came this intrinsic knowledge of my right to live. Liberty was not something I learned, liberty was at the root of my existence.

I was a stranger to these two persons, yet from the start I considered them my own. Ownership not in the sense of possession, but of belonging. I suppose when they became aware of my presence it must have come as quite the surprise. My existence had implications.

Everything I needed to prosper flowed into me from another person. I was born in debt to these two, with no way to communicate my indebtedness or pay the debt back. My existence signified change, coupled tightly with uncertainty – a sure recipe for fear and anxiety. These two were, by default, my stewards and caretakers, and what little I required to live could only come from them. My existence required new long term responsibilities, giving of themselves for me.

One of the things that sets humans apart from other creatures is the power to ponder – to hold things in our hearts, to grasp not only the tangible but the intangible, to take our thoughts captive and use them for a greater purpose – we are free and able to take command of our bodies and our thoughts.

There was no question of choice in my developing mind. I simply was; every new week of my short life I was awakening to awareness, taking joy in small things. I had no choice but to exist in this way. The two could have denied or resisted my existence, but I knew that I lived.

Sometime during the transition from discovering a stranger in their midst to accepting me as their own, they chose 

to honor the design and power of the body to nurture a new being, 

to be in awe of and support this miraculous process, 

to accept my existence,
to acknowledge my right to live, 

and ultimately to embrace the small passenger with hope, pride and joy. 

They chose not only to give what I required of them to meet my physical needs; they chose to give above and beyond – that is – love.

Parenting is Hard. So is Growing Up.

Raising a kid isn't easy. Ask anyone. Ask your mom or dad. My son inherited (or learned?) my stubbornness, which means he doesn't know when to throw in the towel. I suppose in certain situations that might be a good trait. Last night wasn't one of them. After hearing no over and over again he continued to pressure me to take him on a walk. No substitute would be accepted. Eventually, he admitted his throat hurt (from the strain of his temper tantrum), I suggested a tonic to soothe his throat, and soon he was quietly puttering about in the kitchen mixing ACV and water - and improvised an additional step that I didn't suggest, by following with coconut oil.

The moment you completely lose hope of your child's maturity he shows some glimmer that he is more self-sufficient and mature than yesterday. It's part of a child's (dare I say fallen?!) nature to push boundaries and speak for himself. It is also a parent's duty - not to repress all of the child's desires, but to distinguish for the child right wishes from wrong wishes and impress on the child that there is a right time and place for right desires. Wishes do not need to be instantly fulfilled, although right desires backed by good motives can serve as inspiration for planning the future.

I wish I could impress all these things on my child. I worry about him. I want him to learn that persuasion happens indirectly, by making someone else feel important, being kind and giving them every reason to trust you, listening to their side and respecting their choices, their terms, and their boundaries.

I believe my child will be better prepared for life if he learns to control his passions, channel his energy and look beyond his own interests and desires to the interests of others. I look forward to meeting the man he will become. For now, we go through this painful process of training. Every once in a while there is a glimmer showing progress, and often the progress occurs quietly and without mention.

Another Season Goes By

Friends, it seems like we blink, and suddenly one season has passed and another is upon us.

Our Work:
The youngest, Fiona, is now two. She is a devoted acolyte of her older siblings, and trying to figure out how to verbalize all these profound thoughts that flow through her mind (guck = truck, guggle = snuggle, 'tay = okay, eat = eat, doos = shoes, gocks = socks, oo-oo-ah-ah = monkey, mao mao = cat, and her favorites: Dehdeh = Derek, E-dah = Elinor, Daydie = Katie). Elinor, at 5 1/2, enjoys playing learning activities on the computer and is very excited about doing her schoolwork (at home). Fiona watches and learns what she can alongside Elinor. While Derek, at 8 1/2, is less enthusiastic about doing his (home) schoolwork, he is nonetheless slowly gaining bits and pieces of maturity. Derek just started Cub Scouts this year and has been getting to know some new friends through that. Katie has finally started college at the local community college. Mike is finishing up what he can at the local community college before he transfers to a 4-year school. Mike has been approved to begin working as a referee for volleyball games. I (Ruth) am still blessed with continued employment as an energy engineer where I have been for 3 1/2 years now. 

Our Home:

Mike has become quite the handyman since we moved at the end of October 2015. I can't believe it's been almost a year in our new house! Katie and Derek each have their own rooms, and Elinor and Fiona share a room with a bunk bed. We now have ample closet space, work space, a highly functional basement, a dishwasher, a yard to play in, a grill, and a garage. One of my investments this spring was a snowblower and we can't wait to use it in the next few months. We've renovated the upstairs bathroom, updated much of the electricals, and now we're in the process of running a new power line to the garage and nearing completion of a completely new back porch. There is still much work to be done on our home; we've been really enjoying the process of home improvement so far! 

Our Ride: 

We also purchased a used VW Routan and are bringing it back into good working order (so far replaced tires, flushed and filled fluids, and replaced power steering line, then there will be some less critical repairs to do)! The van is a lot of fun, comfortable and very roomy. It even has a DVD system and audio input! The best part is that there is room for storage even if all 7 seats are filled. It's also great for tailgating. Derek and Elinor enjoy riding a bike. Elinor has recently mastered riding a bike with pedals and is now confident enough to go down hills and use the brakes. Fiona has a bus ride-on toy she can use but still prefers when someone else pushes or holds her; her legs aren't long enough for a tricycle or bike yet.

Our Faith:

We've tied into a local church since we moved to Newington 3 1/2 years ago, CCPC in West Hartford. The people are wonderful, and we have been going through some major changes as of late. The Senior Pastor gave his notice, so we are searching for a new pastor. Now we are in the process of holding things together, trying to rediscover what it means to be a community and family of God when many of our members have moved on due to whatever circumstances. The church has started a children's music program before church Sunday mornings. Mike and I have both been playing in the orchestra (Mike on bass guitar and I on trombone). Everyone in the church pitches in and participates, and it is wonderful to see so many people giving of / sharing what talents they have instead of simply "feeding" or "consuming" which is really the temptation in our society.

Music:

In addition to singing with the children's choir, the kids have started general music lessons again, primarily with piano and being introduced to different instruments as well. I look forward to seeing where their interests take them as they all very much enjoy music (there is much humming and whistling and plinking of keys in our house when the kids are in a good mood). I continue to play euphonium with the Harmonious Brass Choir and trombone (and occasionally bells) with the Farmington Valley Band. The last concert at the performing arts center in Simsbury we had a full 5 bones in the section, it sounded very good to have more than one on each part!

Related by Blood

Family. What does this word mean to you? Siblings are said to be the longest lasting relationships of our lives. Yet for many people it can bring up a lot of heartache. When the inherent intimacy of this relationship is abused as an excuse to behave like a child - since the relationship was originally built in the context of childhood - it hurts. It hurt when you were a kid and had no choice but to continue living in the same household, and it hurts no less now when you make a conscious choice to include and be around a family member yet they continue the hurtful or selfish behavior, or when they make a conscious choice to outright exclude you.

As an adult, this can be disappointing at best and dehumanizing at worst. Is there room for forgiveness? Well, Jesus forgave his tormentors, so yes. Forgiveness does not require the other party to even apologize or feel retribution for their behavior. Even forgiveness does not wipe away the memories and the pain proceeding from the broken relationship with the loved one.

Yet Jesus offers an alternate to this despondent feeling of being trapped by a blood relationship where one party is not acting in the best interest of others.

While he [Jesus] was still speaking to the people, behold, his mother and his brothers stood outside, asking to speak to him. But he replied to the man who told him, "who is my mother, and who are my brothers?' And stretching out his hand toward his disciples, he said, 'Here are my mother and my brothers! For whoever does the will of my Father in heaven is my brother and sister and mother.' 

When the Son of God or one of those ministering in his name were in an area where they were not offered hospitality, where they were not provided for, his advice was to wipe the dust of those places off your feet and move along. Another time he said it is the sick that need a doctor, not those who are well (in their own eyes).

As much as it grieves me to let go of earthly relationships, Jesus made it clear that what is best for everyone is to open your eyes to your true family around you. Those are the people who are willing to be fellow laborers and servants in the kingdom. The people looking not after their own interests, but after the interests of others. He said in order to be great, you must be least of all.

This begs the question, then who is my family? People who have dealt with pain, destitution, loss, hunger, who see their great need and their inability to manage on their own, people who are willing to sacrifice themselves for others, people who accept others for who they are, people who can find joy in the midst of difficulty, people who are struggling in life, people who give without expecting anything in return, people who are open to give and receive compassion and unconditional love. These are the people I choose as my family.

For anyone who (whether intentionally or unintentionally) has erected boundaries to protect yourself, know that there is true freedom and healing in breaking down those walls. If you feel like ____ has wronged you, or you have been hurt by ____, or are simply uncomfortable around ____ (fill in the blanks with me, or anyone else in your life that fits here), I leave this open invitation. I get it - maybe you feel you are better off with me out of your life - I will try to respect the boundaries you put up - but I will not stop loving you, and I will not stop caring. The moment you decide to give me another chance (knowing that being human I may disappoint you again and need grace upon grace), you know where I am. Know that I want to be in right relationship with you. I want there to be peace and goodwill between us. I want you back in my family.

Jesus also says "come, all you who are weary and heavy laden, and I will give you rest." Do you have broken relationships weighing you down? He knows. Lay it on his shoulders. And he who is able will bless you more than you can imagine with a true family, related by the blood of the lamb.

Long Lost Friend

You are a long lost friend.
When we spoke after all these years
I remembered...
Not the words you said, or the things you did
But the way you made me feel.

I am glad to have met you:
a bright spot of cheer
in a gloomy world.

Maybe you feel lonely
or are searching
But today you made me smile.

I was giddy
to be able to talk like old friends
and experience the same feeling
of delight again
that I remembered from long ago.

I thank you,
my long lost friend.

Hand in Hand

Hand in hand we walk
together through the town
Hand in hand our steps
sync with the up and down

Hand in hand we smile
to greet the fresh new day
Hand in hand we're strong,
as we walk our way

Hand in hand time passes,
the sun drops in the West
Hand in hand we lay there,
our eyes succumb to rest

Each day is like a breeze, lingering and warm
The moment is sweet when together we meet
Hand in hand, heart in heart, arm in arm.

Living Life to the Fullest

I think the temptation today is to expect that life will come to you. That you can just live life centered on your self and your goals, all you have to do is get to know yourself and in doing so you will find happiness and contentment. Every one of my children thinks the world revolves around them. One of my chief goals as a mom is to break them of this illusion. It is my hope that someday they will start to find joy in making their focus outward rather than inward.

My friends, I hope the same for you. Now, I get that sometimes, life is really hard. Some days, survival mode takes over and you have no choice but to rebuild your own health and strength. Life doesn't end there. You WILL have times of recovery. You WILL have times of plenty. Don't let the ball stop rolling once you finally start recovering balance.

The quest for living life to the fullest doesn't have to center around "me". Fulfillment and blessings abound when your life focus is to give of yourself and your resources to impact other people in your life. So I ask you - where are the needs around you? Have you focused your efforts so much on making the places you are comfortable for yourself that you are leaving out the needy, the brokenhearted, the hungry around you? If you aren't willing to pick up your feet and walk to where the needs are, find those needs and start meeting those physical and spiritual needs, how small your world is!

"Religion that is pure and undefiled before God, the Father, is this: to visit orphans and widows in their affliction" James 1:27a

#AlwaysBrilli

Gendered Bathrooms

On the matter of gendered bathrooms, why not just make individual toilets more private and have several unisex bathroom units? Isn't that more efficient in the long run? This would reduce congestion (for instance, lines at travel concourses), reduce the total area to be cleaned, avoid shutting down half or entire toilet areas for cleaning, allow differently abled persons to get the assistance and privacy they need, help families stay together, and help parents help their children.

I think the question we should be asking is why are schools having kids undress in front of each other (in locker rooms) even if they are same gender? Would individual changing areas be too much to ask? As we teach our kids to clothe themselves (modesty), to keep their nakedness covered in respect of both themselves and others (discretion), let's give them private, clean environments to care for their personal needs. Our kids deserve the safety, body confidence and dignity that would result.

(Re)Vival

In a corner of an unremarkable plaza in Newington, CT, you can find a little place called the "ReCONNstruction Center." Here you can find all sorts of secondhand building materials - extras or rejects that are byproducts of hundreds of renovation projects, replaced by newer, more modern fixtures in the mad scramble for the perfect house.

I am legitimately concerned by the trend today of treating the church like a restaurant. The pastor is the master chef, there to serve the appetite of the people - the people are there to consume, to "be fed," and go away feeling "full". People move from church to church until they find the one that they feel is glamorous and successful enough for them. Like the doors, floors and windows at the ReCONNstruction center, many solid old churches that "just need a little work" to make them bloom again are left behind in this search for self-fulfillment. Where is the Holy Spirit in this?

A week ago many churches remembered Pentacost - a time when the Holy Spirit filled his people with power, launching passion and revival in the early church. I wonder, what did that revival look like, and how should it look today?

True revival is not about being comfortable. Neither is it about removing everything that makes you feel awkward and replacing it with something "nice" that makes you feel good. Rather the opposite! True revival is an inner working that has an outward manifestation. When you are filled with the Holy Spirit, it doesn't always look like fireworks and excitement. 

No, the Holy Spirit works first to CONVICT and HUMBLE us. The process is more often than not, PAINFUL and UNCOMFORTABLE. We are forced to look into our own lives, our own actions and thoughts, and see where we have not only done what is distasteful to God but we have neglected to do what he has called us to do. Upon conviction, we cry out for forgiveness to the only One who took upon HIMSELF what WE DESERVE that he might intercede on our behalf that we might be deemed acceptable in God's sight. What an AMAZING and HUMBLING concept!

The Spirit of God does not CONVICT without following that conviction with a CALL. The outworkings of revival in our hearts and in our church is to heed the call. First, to stop acting against God, then to start doing what we have been neglecting to do! There are so many needs around us; financial needs only scratch the surface. God calls us to open our eyes to SEE where there is a need, to take COMPASSION on that need, and to throw our hearts and our time into MEETING those needs. These needs simply WILL NOT BE MET if the church is filled with people looking to come to church only to be fed. What a waste of the precious gifts God has blessed you with! Jesus says "If you love me, FEED MY SHEEP!" And how will the sheep be fed if none are willing to step up and be the hands and feet of Jesus?

Today, if you are convicted, take a look at your own heart and see it for what it really is. Are pride and fear keeping you from serving God, serving the church and serving the community? Were you burned in the past? Has the fear of conflict kept you from being a leader, led you to neglect doing what God has called you to do? Ask God to tear down barriers and open doors. He is able to do this and so much more. Stop expecting revival to be a thing that will just happen to you if you just happen to be in the right place at the right time and start the revival wherever and whenever you are at now. Revival will happen, where and when God desires it. Will you choose to be part of it?

Forgiveness isn't Always Comfortable

God does not promise us there will be no awkwardness as we are trying to learn how to be at peace with one another. How easy it is to part ways and live as though another person does not exist, banishing thoughts of them from our mind - or even dwelling upon all the wrongs that occurred to mar what was once a solid relationship.

Some time ago, I had been recently let go from a job and was attending a concert with my family. During intermission, I ran into the man who had been my supervisor. We said hello and exchanged small talk. My toddler daughter, having no understanding of the awkwardness between he and I, reached out and held his hand for what seemed a very long silence, preventing us from going our separate ways.

Oh, if we were all to be like that child! Would not Christ desire us to extend the hand of friendship and connection, oblivious and blind to whether the person may or may not "deserve" it? That is true forgiveness. That is the forgiveness and reconciliation Christ extends to us.

How awkward would it feel if Christ showed up right when we are in the act of acting against him and were to extend the hand of friendship and love to us. Yet he does reach out to us with love. How wonderful the relief when we release the bitterness and hurt and welcome one another back into right relationship with each other, when we forgive one another as Christ as forgiven us.

Unity

Unity.


Unity.
The many come together in a common voice.
All these things that divide us,
the contempt for the "other" - dissolved.
Delighting in and valuing our differences.

Excitement and motivation alone
have no holding power, no direction
and accomplish nothing.

Absence of any differences
Has direction but no magnitude
and accomplishes nothing.

Why seek to find fault with another?
You will find it.
You will be discontent.
Unity will be broken.

Why seek to place blame?
You may feel justified.
You will be discontent.
No improvement will occur.

Rather, my friends,
Have compassion. Forgive.
Put your differences behind you.
Only then will you truly move forward.

By Ruth Powell Gay, 2016. Crosspublished simultaneously via Blogger, LinkedIn and Facebook.

We

We. 

Americans. 

How long before we call each other that?

How long before our heritage is bound in a terrifying unity?

How long before there are no "us" and "them" and only "we"?

Do we see? 

What if our eyes were pierced? 

Would we see with our hearts?

Would we connect on a deeper level?

Would our collective numbers overwhelm 

Any that try to divide us into superficial divisions 

To diminish our strength?

Who would we be?

Would we be "we"?

Sloppy Language

Our speech is full of sloppy language. These are words that you would never find in a written conversation while they fill up the spaces when we are speaking out loud. The irony is that they often make our spoken words come across as either obscure, insincere, feeble, self-touting, or self-defeating. We use these words to soften the impact of our language and to give ourselves permission to say things we would be embarrassed to put on the record this way.

Please read through the following examples of some commonly used phrases. How do you think these words might come across as you use them? Do they help or hurt what you are trying to communicate? Are there appropriate times to use these? What are some alternates that we can use to intentionally improve our communication?

um = "I'm trying to recall/whip up the next thing I was going to say"

so = "I have more to say that follows a previous statement that better explains what I am trying to get across"

again = "As I/you/we already know or have previously stated," (whether the previously stated thing was said out loud or in the mind, to this person or to a different person)

and so on and so forth and what have you = "I could keep reiterating in a different way but I think you get the picture"

and this and that = "I should know enough to fully explain this to you but my mind is drawing a blank as to remembering specific details and facts, so fill in the blanks and trust that I know how to fill in the blanks when it matters more"

like = "similar to" or "expressed/said/acted out" "kind of" "To put it another way or explain,"

just = "sincerely, humbly" "only"

I think = "I'm not 100% sure and this is just my opinion, please hear what I have to say"

honestly = "you can really trust me, I really know what I am talking about, and I am about to share something you should find really insightful or juicy"

don't take this the wrong way but = "I'm about to say something I know is offensive, will likely hurt your feelings, so brace yourself because I still want to get it out there"

sorry = "excuse me" "Oh I just said or am about to say something I think is dumb" "I hope you don't think what I am saying sounds stupid/uneducated/misinformed" "I'm not certain about what I am saying"

you know = "I'm looking for confirmation that what I am saying is affirmed by someone other than myself" "this should make sense to you"

I don't know = "I'm not confident in what I'm saying" :"I'm guessing/approximating/filling in the blanks"

Can you think of any more I should add to the list? I'd love to hear from you!

Cross-posted on https://www.linkedin.com/pulse/sloppy-language-ruth-gay-cem-eit

Cloth Diapering Primer

I thought it would be fun to pass along some words of wisdom from my cloth diapering journey. Been meaning to write this for a while but was motivated by my friend asking for tips as she is expecting her first! http://www.tapestrychronicles.com/

My third baby is the first I have done cloth diapering from the start. She is 18 months now and we're still using cloth. So much to say so you'll have to pardon my many tangents!

I really like to use pocket covers (BumGenius, Blueberry and Thirsties come to mind as good brands to look for), but I actually put the stuffers right on top next to baby's skin, I don't "stuff" them in the pocket because then I can reuse the covers more times. I love diapers with a lot of snaps for a good adjustable fit. I don't even use snappis or pins; if I put a rectangular absorbant "stuffer" in the middle (more later) and secure the cover snugly then the stuffer stays in place just fine.
While they come adjustable there is such a thing as too big and it won't stay put well, so while baby is little use a smaller size cover, and a bigger size cover as baby gets bigger.

For stuffers (absorption), you can use ANYTHING. You can buy stuffers that are a long rectangle shape, they come in a variety of materials. You can cut up old flannel sheets or cotton tshirts and sew a few layers together into a long rectangle. You can fold up small towels or cut up larger terrycloth towels. Flannel receiving blankets work really well too. The patterned burping cloth diapers you can get at the store work if you fold them into a rectangle and layer them. Finally my favorite is birdseye weave flatfold diapers - it's a single layer you fold to the right size. Nice because it dries easily. Typically cotton based materials become more absorbant after a couple washes.

Again, for a smaller baby use (or fold into) a smaller size and fewer layers. As baby grows, add more absorbancy. Finding the proper absorbancy is more important than how leakproof the cover is because if there isn't enough absorbancy then you'll get leakage, period. Also, it goes without saying but it's also important to change the diaper as soon as possible after it's wet. Moisture on baby's skin can cause rashes. (so can eating sugary or acidic food or drink like apple juice but that's beside the point). Cloth seems to be gentler on my babies' sensitive skin than disposables.

Cleaning: As long as baby is EBF (exclusively Breastfed), the poops dissolve in the washing machine so you don't have to clean off the poops before washing! (side note: while handwashing can certainly be done, I have a lot of respect for people who cloth diaper while not owning a washing machine. Personally I can only manage it if I had a washing machine in the house) I keep in an open basket in the bathroom (exposure to air is good) and do a wash about every two days (or about every 20 diapers). From my experience, disposable diapers in the trash smell at least as bad as if not worse than cloth diapers, so the smell isn't a huge deterrent. For older babies (older = once anything besides breastmilk has been introduced - I don't recommend introducing anything before 6 months and even then have feeding be baby led, only offering when baby shows interest and has the mobile dexterity to pick up food and put in own mouth), I use a designated rubber spatula to scrape the solids into the toilet, then I rinse any remainders in the toilet or sink, then throw in the basket with the wet diapers.

I found it's good to own about two cycles worth of diapers (about 30-40 diaper changes - technically that might be upwords of 80 stuffers for me since I double up) and about 15-20 covers so while you are washing one lot of diapers you have the other lot to use. I use regular Trader Joe's coconut based laundry detergent, you don't want something with fragrances and you don't want to use too much of any detergent and have residue left on the diapers. For drying, in the summer I line dry when I have the time, otherwise I dry the covers on a drying rack and throw all the stuffers in the dryer on high heat.

I went budget by getting my diapers second hand from a local diaper swap, sometimes people will give a good deal if they are unloading their whole stash as their baby gets older. However, even if you buy new I think you will save a good amount of money by not having to purchase disposable diapers all the time, and save space in your garbage can - and the landfill too!