Raising a kid isn't easy. Ask anyone. Ask your mom or dad. My son inherited (or learned?) my stubbornness, which means he doesn't know when to throw in the towel. I suppose in certain situations that might be a good trait. Last night wasn't one of them. After hearing no over and over again he continued to pressure me to take him on a walk. No substitute would be accepted. Eventually, he admitted his throat hurt (from the strain of his temper tantrum), I suggested a tonic to soothe his throat, and soon he was quietly puttering about in the kitchen mixing ACV and water - and improvised an additional step that I didn't suggest, by following with coconut oil.
The moment you completely lose hope of your child's maturity he shows some glimmer that he is more self-sufficient and mature than yesterday. It's part of a child's (dare I say fallen?!) nature to push boundaries and speak for himself. It is also a parent's duty - not to repress all of the child's desires, but to distinguish for the child right wishes from wrong wishes and impress on the child that there is a right time and place for right desires. Wishes do not need to be instantly fulfilled, although right desires backed by good motives can serve as inspiration for planning the future.
I wish I could impress all these things on my child. I worry about him. I want him to learn that persuasion happens indirectly, by making someone else feel important, being kind and giving them every reason to trust you, listening to their side and respecting their choices, their terms, and their boundaries.
I believe my child will be better prepared for life if he learns to control his passions, channel his energy and look beyond his own interests and desires to the interests of others. I look forward to meeting the man he will become. For now, we go through this painful process of training. Every once in a while there is a glimmer showing progress, and often the progress occurs quietly and without mention.
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