We

We. 

Americans. 

How long before we call each other that?

How long before our heritage is bound in a terrifying unity?

How long before there are no "us" and "them" and only "we"?

Do we see? 

What if our eyes were pierced? 

Would we see with our hearts?

Would we connect on a deeper level?

Would our collective numbers overwhelm 

Any that try to divide us into superficial divisions 

To diminish our strength?

Who would we be?

Would we be "we"?

Sloppy Language

Our speech is full of sloppy language. These are words that you would never find in a written conversation while they fill up the spaces when we are speaking out loud. The irony is that they often make our spoken words come across as either obscure, insincere, feeble, self-touting, or self-defeating. We use these words to soften the impact of our language and to give ourselves permission to say things we would be embarrassed to put on the record this way.

Please read through the following examples of some commonly used phrases. How do you think these words might come across as you use them? Do they help or hurt what you are trying to communicate? Are there appropriate times to use these? What are some alternates that we can use to intentionally improve our communication?

um = "I'm trying to recall/whip up the next thing I was going to say"

so = "I have more to say that follows a previous statement that better explains what I am trying to get across"

again = "As I/you/we already know or have previously stated," (whether the previously stated thing was said out loud or in the mind, to this person or to a different person)

and so on and so forth and what have you = "I could keep reiterating in a different way but I think you get the picture"

and this and that = "I should know enough to fully explain this to you but my mind is drawing a blank as to remembering specific details and facts, so fill in the blanks and trust that I know how to fill in the blanks when it matters more"

like = "similar to" or "expressed/said/acted out" "kind of" "To put it another way or explain,"

just = "sincerely, humbly" "only"

I think = "I'm not 100% sure and this is just my opinion, please hear what I have to say"

honestly = "you can really trust me, I really know what I am talking about, and I am about to share something you should find really insightful or juicy"

don't take this the wrong way but = "I'm about to say something I know is offensive, will likely hurt your feelings, so brace yourself because I still want to get it out there"

sorry = "excuse me" "Oh I just said or am about to say something I think is dumb" "I hope you don't think what I am saying sounds stupid/uneducated/misinformed" "I'm not certain about what I am saying"

you know = "I'm looking for confirmation that what I am saying is affirmed by someone other than myself" "this should make sense to you"

I don't know = "I'm not confident in what I'm saying" :"I'm guessing/approximating/filling in the blanks"

Can you think of any more I should add to the list? I'd love to hear from you!

Cross-posted on https://www.linkedin.com/pulse/sloppy-language-ruth-gay-cem-eit

Cloth Diapering Primer

I thought it would be fun to pass along some words of wisdom from my cloth diapering journey. Been meaning to write this for a while but was motivated by my friend asking for tips as she is expecting her first! http://www.tapestrychronicles.com/

My third baby is the first I have done cloth diapering from the start. She is 18 months now and we're still using cloth. So much to say so you'll have to pardon my many tangents!

I really like to use pocket covers (BumGenius, Blueberry and Thirsties come to mind as good brands to look for), but I actually put the stuffers right on top next to baby's skin, I don't "stuff" them in the pocket because then I can reuse the covers more times. I love diapers with a lot of snaps for a good adjustable fit. I don't even use snappis or pins; if I put a rectangular absorbant "stuffer" in the middle (more later) and secure the cover snugly then the stuffer stays in place just fine.
While they come adjustable there is such a thing as too big and it won't stay put well, so while baby is little use a smaller size cover, and a bigger size cover as baby gets bigger.

For stuffers (absorption), you can use ANYTHING. You can buy stuffers that are a long rectangle shape, they come in a variety of materials. You can cut up old flannel sheets or cotton tshirts and sew a few layers together into a long rectangle. You can fold up small towels or cut up larger terrycloth towels. Flannel receiving blankets work really well too. The patterned burping cloth diapers you can get at the store work if you fold them into a rectangle and layer them. Finally my favorite is birdseye weave flatfold diapers - it's a single layer you fold to the right size. Nice because it dries easily. Typically cotton based materials become more absorbant after a couple washes.

Again, for a smaller baby use (or fold into) a smaller size and fewer layers. As baby grows, add more absorbancy. Finding the proper absorbancy is more important than how leakproof the cover is because if there isn't enough absorbancy then you'll get leakage, period. Also, it goes without saying but it's also important to change the diaper as soon as possible after it's wet. Moisture on baby's skin can cause rashes. (so can eating sugary or acidic food or drink like apple juice but that's beside the point). Cloth seems to be gentler on my babies' sensitive skin than disposables.

Cleaning: As long as baby is EBF (exclusively Breastfed), the poops dissolve in the washing machine so you don't have to clean off the poops before washing! (side note: while handwashing can certainly be done, I have a lot of respect for people who cloth diaper while not owning a washing machine. Personally I can only manage it if I had a washing machine in the house) I keep in an open basket in the bathroom (exposure to air is good) and do a wash about every two days (or about every 20 diapers). From my experience, disposable diapers in the trash smell at least as bad as if not worse than cloth diapers, so the smell isn't a huge deterrent. For older babies (older = once anything besides breastmilk has been introduced - I don't recommend introducing anything before 6 months and even then have feeding be baby led, only offering when baby shows interest and has the mobile dexterity to pick up food and put in own mouth), I use a designated rubber spatula to scrape the solids into the toilet, then I rinse any remainders in the toilet or sink, then throw in the basket with the wet diapers.

I found it's good to own about two cycles worth of diapers (about 30-40 diaper changes - technically that might be upwords of 80 stuffers for me since I double up) and about 15-20 covers so while you are washing one lot of diapers you have the other lot to use. I use regular Trader Joe's coconut based laundry detergent, you don't want something with fragrances and you don't want to use too much of any detergent and have residue left on the diapers. For drying, in the summer I line dry when I have the time, otherwise I dry the covers on a drying rack and throw all the stuffers in the dryer on high heat.

I went budget by getting my diapers second hand from a local diaper swap, sometimes people will give a good deal if they are unloading their whole stash as their baby gets older. However, even if you buy new I think you will save a good amount of money by not having to purchase disposable diapers all the time, and save space in your garbage can - and the landfill too!