Pressing On

It was time. I got the call saying they decided I was not a good fit for the position. It would be easy to sink into the pits of despair, for the intrusive thoughts and self-doubt to take over all my waking moments. To think that my worth in life is dependent on my ability to provide for my family, to hear the word "termination" ringing in my ears, and to lose hope. That is not so. The motion was decisive, quick, and I might even say merciful. I can honestly say I gave the job my all, so with little fanfare another short chapter of my life has closed. The page has turned, the chapter sealed in the return envelope and mailed back to sender.

In this short time I hope that I have impacted many lives. What I wanted to give to each person goes deeper than the immediate results, deeper than the surface value. I hope I have done my best in treating everyone equally, because each person matters. I hope that each person I came into contact with over the course of the job felt valued and respected. That they are part of a team that can make measurable, real progress through working together to accomplish amazing things. That they went home that day believing that their opinions and their work is both credible, impactful, and needed. I got to know with so many people in a short amount of time who are not only gifted, but who are genuine, honest, professional, resilient, and delightful.

The words of the Relient K song ring in my ears as I can do nothing but continue "pressing on", eager to see what the next chapter holds. I firmly believe everything happens for a reason, and that being released from one possibility opens me up for myriad possibilities that I would have never dreamed of before had I not arrived to the point I am now. Am I battling anxiety? Does my faith feel weakened? You bet! But I will win this battle - not I alone, on my own strength, for I am surrounded by "many witnesses", encouraged with the strength from the many in the community who care about me, motivated by each candid conversation, and sustained by a greater power outside myself.

I think we're going somewhere. We're on to something good here. Out of mind, out of state. Trying to keep my head on straight. I think we're going somewhere. We're on to something good here. There's only one thing left to do. Drop all I have and go with you. 

Somewhere back there I left my worries all behind. My problems fell out of the back of my mind. We're going and I'm never knowing (never knowing) where we're going. To go back to where I was would just be wrong. I'm pressing on. 

Pressing on, all my distress is going, going, gone. (pressing on, pressing on) And I won't sit back, and take this anymore. 'Cause I'm done with that, I've got one foot out the door. And to go back where I was would just be wrong... I'm pressing on. 

"Pressing On" single by: Relient K, Album: The Anatomy of the Tongue and Cheek, Songwriter: Matt Theissen, Producer: Mark Lee Townsend